TaTa's, Toes and Teeth

(Imagine background music:  "It's Take Two" by Rob Base)

This is my very first blog. Kinda nervous about it but... let the de-flowering begin.  I prompted to write it because it is on my summer bucket list. I'm not dying. This is not my goodbye letter to the masses or to my best friend and handful of co-workers that may be reading this.  AbBucket list just sounds way better than "Summer Goals for J" or "Whispers of a Hope List for the Hot Months". 

Anyway, I will be writing today about my bosom and thangs.  My need for a breast reduction is dire. As much as I enjoy the voluptuous curve and all the attention that it brings ... it has become terribly laborious to haul around the watermelon-esque mammary's day in and day out without any physical reprieve.  And all the attention hasn't always been "the best".  From merciless torturing by my siblings to people to totally missing my dazzling Colgate smile to gaze up on gargantuan glands of flesh on the front of my body. 

The biggest setbacks of having such bigguns...

1. Finding shirts fit (especially button ups... that 3rd button is a beast. always screaming for mercy).
2. Back pain... self explanatory.
3. Never, ever finding a bra that will provide proper support without pinching back fat or showing your headlights at a free for all. (Btw... I have had several men point this embarrassing occurrence out to me as if they were the culprit of me being all hot and bothered.  Uh...yeah. No thanks. And I assure them it  is because the air conditioner is set to a snowman's butt cheek and not that nappy 5 o'clock shadow you've been rockin' for the past 3 days that has me all titillated.)
4. Being fondled by babies.  For some reason they all believe that I am the surrogate nurturer to the nations and that they can stick their hands down my shirt and get a snack. Super awkward. o_O
5. The open mouthed gaping and staring by complete strangers well... just because they are HUGE!

I shall not disclose my actual cup size but people have a hard time containing their shock and awe.  Sometimes, you just DON'T want to know what people think about you.

I guess its time to shut up now.  I hope you enjoyed.  I may or may not do a part 2.  Depends on the response I get to my first try at this blogging beast or ... I whether or not I feel like it. Eh... it is what it is.  Ttyl.

Signed...

"Bigger Than A G" aka JE Heartbreak