When I'm bent out of shape I have a one track mind. I'm outraged and and disgruntled by the person, persons or occurence that has ruffled my feathers. I'm good at holding grudges and picking apart the scenario until I feel better or justified in the fact that I am unequivocally right in all ways, shapes or forms. While in my fit of self-righteous appreciation for all things Jess my vision is a blur. A red haze is about me and I am void of hearing all arguments that do not agree with the clear and precise case that I have set where I am the innocent. Everyone else may cower and accept defeat; fold in a corner and take whatever the accusation is being given. But within the first 30 seconds I have masterminded a slew of witty quips of character assasination or decided that I will slash the tires of their 2013 Lime Green Ford Focus sedan in a fit of rage with the switchblade I forgot to put in my purse this morning.
Now, this is just me? You may not think as violently or angrily as I do. Thankfully all those scenarios only play out and receive life in my very vivid and strange imagination. Normally I'm non-confrontational; passive aggressive even. I rarely make a fuss. I go with the flow. This helps to make me extremely likeable. People know that I will pretty much not make noise about alot of these. Does this make me a pushover in some respects? Absolutley!
But the point
I think I'm making is... Going with the flow is not agreement but my silence is consent. So my actions are not genuine. I'm not true to myself or others when I behave this way; Even if it is to keep the peace. I struggle with this because there is a chink in my armour. I'm no longer "Jessica Princess of Integrity!"
(cue viking music, suspicious wind blowing up my short leather flap skirt and a cleavage bearing leather studded ,yet rugged top).
Ehhh. I'll continue to work on it.
This is a great post and I see you busting out of your self-proclaimed "disingenuity". It's only so long that a person can be silent before the fire comes (Can you smell what the ROCK is cooking). Keep in mind this reply comes from someone who is the exact opposite of you. I will pop off without notice. But one thing I have learned from you and I am doing my best to mirror is that you have to know when to pick your battles and I don't see you as passive but instead tactful. You know what battles are necessary and which ones should remain in your mental command center.
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